Unwritten Rules
by Reuker
Summary: "The unwritten rule of sci-fi: the guy always gets the girl. The girl may have a kiss with another girl or even several girls, she may have a relationship with a girl or several girls, but she will always get with the guy in the end. Lesbian relationships are to be experimental only, they never last." Yeah, Lexa doesn't follow the rules, she makes them. STORY REWRITE.
1. Frozen

Unwritten Rules

 _ **Ha ha! The rewrite has been done! Though I may just off every single character, I'm in that kind of mood.**_

* * *

Their feet slapped brutally against the concrete floors within the Mountain, their speed mounting as they neared heavily stickered steel doors. Two grounder warriors smashed the lock mechanisms, removing the need for an access card in favor of handmade steel crowbars. They needed to move quickly, as the battle had begun to move up the many levels of the Mountain. No one knew how long they had until the fight reached this floor, or how long it would take for the grounders and the sky people to subdue the Mountain Men. But they couldn't worry about that, they had a separate mission from the rest. The foursomes combined strength was enough to pry open the doors, welcoming the hallway to a spray of bullets.

Lexa pushed Clarke back against the wall with a forearm on her abdomen. They hid on one side of the door, while their accompanying grounder warriors hid on the other. Lexa made eye contact with Jansune, a burly boy that was from her native village. She nodded, and immediately the two of them whirled into the view of the Mountain men. They tossed two daggers each, one flying from each hand, and they sheathed themselves in the chests and throats of the gun-wielding men. Quickly, Lexa and Jansune returned back to their only slightly safer positions on either side of the open doorway. They may have killed the guards, but Cage still had a gun in hand and Lexa suspected that a single guard was left, taking cover behind one of the tables.

Clarke's eyes were bright with worry and fury, the two emotions directed at Lexa and Cage respectively. This woman was damn reckless and she hated it.

She hated how scared it made her.

Lexa gave Clarke a savage smile, chest heaving with adrenaline and her eyes alight with bloodlust. Her war paint was flawless, dark blood making her skin maroon. She looked wild, and she felt wild. Every death made her stronger, made her even more powerful. She was unstoppable now.

"Give me a single one of your Skaikru minutes," Lexa breathed, voice rough, before throwing herself into the room, Jansune storming in behind her.

Together, they killed the final living guard, and Jansune sliced off Cage's hand, disarming him in the process. The man cried out, falling to his knees as he stared wide eyed at the stump where his right hand had been. He sobbed openly, blood spurting from the wound as he looked up into the dark eyes of the Commander. He trembled under her savage gaze, her eyes crazed and wild. She was past the point of no return, no one could stop her from exacting her revenge.

Lexa's upper lip curled in a snarl, nose scrunching up just a bit as she growled at the once feared President. "Cage Wallace, you have no idea how much I will enjoy this."

She swung her blade, slicing an inch off Cage's stump of an arm, he gave a blood curdling scream and Lexa swore she could feel the debt being repaid with every one of the man's agonized cries. She swung again and again until she reached Cage's elbow, and the man looked as though he were about to pass out from the pain, his face pale and streaked with tears.

"Clarke!" Lexa called, and the blonde immediately rushed into the room, pistol and dagger in each hand. Her blue eyes blazed with rage at the sight of Cage Wallace, and they danced with satisfaction at the sight of his misery. A cruel half-grin erupted on the blonde's ever-fair features, and she clutched her dagger and pistol combo tighter.

She stalked up to Cage, the sway in her hips more terrifying for the dying man then attractive, though from Lexa's angle, it was certainly the latter. She gave him a million dollar, absolutely false and tremendously unsettling smile that morphed into more of her just baring her teeth at the man. Her hand shot out and gripped the front of his button down shirt, and she jerked upwards, forcing the former President to his feet. Cage whimpered as he stared into her cold blue eyes, losing control of his bowel movements as his fear became overwhelming. He never thought this would happen, he thought they would win, and they would take over the ground-it was their birthright!

But in that moment, he knew, he had lost everything. Cage didn't even have the energy to sneer at the girl. Pain, so much pain, he could feel himself becoming intensely dizzy at the blood loss.

"Cage… Wallace," Clarke said slowly, manic grin spreading slowly across her features, "I wondered when we'd meet like this. I had hoped, dreamed it would be soon. Now? I couldn't be more happy. But you know what would satisfy me, Cage?" She hissed out her words, voice naturally sultry in its manner, "Your death."

Clarke shoved Cage back, sending him sprawling onto floor, bawling his eyes out. The blonde turned on her heel, walking towards Lexa. Blue orbs dug into dark emeralds for a short moment, Cage's sobs being the only noise in the room.

"Arms; I don't want him to have any," Clarke said, nonchalant about her request-nay, demand.

Lexa bristled slightly, she wasn't one to take orders, but for Clarke, and for this situation, she would make an exception. She leapt at Cage, swinging her blade single-handedly in a downward strike that sliced his arm clear off at the shoulder. He howled in agony, choking on his own saliva during the split second that Lexa sliced his other arm off in a second strike. He erupted in a coughing fit, blood leaking out from the corners of his mouth as more of it came up from his throat, staining his teeth.

The Commander sheathed her sword, gripping the lapels of Cage's jacket so that she could lift him into the air and slam his back against the TV's he used to plot against them. She invaded his personal space, their noses just an inch apart.

"Yu gonplei ste odon, branwada," Lexa snarled, dropping the man on his feet where he stumbled, collapsing and smashing his face into the hard floor, lacking the arms needed to break his fall. He sobbed into the floor, blood pooling around his face as it leaked from his nose and mouth. She lifted him onto his knees by his hair, all but ripping it from his scalp. "Do what you will, Clarke."

The blonde raised her pistol, her arm unwavering as she took aim. She clicked off the safety, the noise resounding in her mind as she squeezed the trigger. She fired two shots, one to the heart, and one to the brain.

Lexa let go of the dead man's hair, letting his face slap against the ground a second time, her own face void of emotion.

"Jus drein, jus draun," Clarke said firmly, shoulders slumping as the weight of the day came down upon her in full force. She was suddenly aware of her utter exhaustion, and felt her knees tremble, struggling to hold her upright.

"Leave us," Lexa ordered tersely, nodding at Jansune as they walked out, leaving the two women alone.

The Commander heaved a sigh, tired eyes finding Clarke's own with a small, gentle smile. "We won," She said quietly, bloodlust waning.

Clarke nodded, letting out a soft, relieved sob. "Yeah," She whispered, "We did."

Lexa opened up her arms, and Clarke launched herself against her warm body.

The blonde trembled in the Commanders arms, her face buried deeply in her neck. There, she inhaled the fresh scent of subtle spices and fresh bread, instead of the overwhelming stench of death that permeated the room. It gave her courage as she nuzzled closer, the contact calming her raging heart. Lexa held Clarke close, her palms securing the blonde's place against her body.

Clarke could feel Lexa trembling slightly, and she pulled away to look up at the Commander.

She could see the unshed tears in Lexa's nearly black eyes, and she could feel palms trembling behind her back. The weight of all of the death that surrounded them, combined with all of the past lives that had been taken both wrongfully and rightfully all joined together to create a massive, gaping hole in her mask. She was breaking down.

"Lives saved. Not lives taken. Remember, Lexa? You know this. I know this. We did it Lexa, the war is won, and even more lives have been saved." Clarke whispered, her voice hoarse as she herself struggled not to cry, but her tears would be of a different kind. Relief, all Clarke could bring herself to feel was relief. She had her friends back, her mom was safe, Octavia, Lincoln, Raven and everyone else were safe. Lexa was safe.

Lexa nodded, swallowing audibly, though Clarke pretended not to hear it for both of their benefit. Clarke let her thumb ghost over Lexa's tan cheek, gently caressing a slowly darkening bruise that threatened to mar her beauty. Of course, in Clarke's eyes, it failed to follow through with such a threat. She watched Lexa's eyes flutter closed as she pressed her cheek into Clarke's palm, her other blood stained hand tracing down her face to rest on her shoulder. Lexa sighed, and soon, Clarke did as well, pressing her fair-skinned forehead against Lexa's clavicle as her strong arms pulled her closer by her waist. Clarke let both of her hands rest on Lexa's clavicle, sighing again as she reveled in the closeness they shared. She remembered their kiss, and struggled to repress a shudder. It had been amazing, but could it be repeated?

She had told Lexa no, for a reason of course - she wasn't ready. After everything, she didn't think she was strong enough to survive another emotion being crammed in her damaged mind, taking residence in her broken heart. She needed to heal, internally and certainly externally-especially after this war-before she even thought about having a relationship with anyone. Clarke blinked viciously, now was not the time for such thoughts, not when there was so much that needed to be done.

"Clarke! We've rounded up the Mountain Men, and the innocents are on the fifth level where they'll be safe-" Abby paused, taking in the sight before her with narrowed eyes.

"Mom!" Clarke half-yelped, not removing herself from Lexa's arms. She felt safe, and didn't she deserve to enjoy that feeling?

"We could use help with the injured," Abby offered, before sniping, "Unless you'd rather-"

"-Enough," Lexa growled, frustrated with the woman's blatant rudeness, "You have no right to speak to Clarke in such a manner, she is the Champion of this war, and she is to be treated with respect."

Abby gaped at the audacity of the Commander, "I am her-"

"-A mother does not send her child to die."

Abby's jaw clicks shut, eyes aflame with the beginnings of an explosion. She can feel the guilt seeping in from one of the compartments in the back of her mind, and it makes her chest ache. Everyone keeps bringing up what really was the beginning of everything. That decision had made everything possible, had led them to this moment. She had done the right thing, and he end, everything turned out okay, right?

But as Abby looked at her daughter, she realized not everything had turned out so well. She had lost her little girl, the Earth took her from her the moment her feet touched its soil. This place, it changed everything, everyone, and Abby was still learning how to function down here. She vowed to do better, by her daughter and her people.

The Chancellor nodded mutely, before turning and walking away without a word.

* * *

Walking through the corridors of the Mountain physically made Clarke ill. Not only was she exhausted physically by this place, but mentally as well. Blood was splattered on the walls and body parts littered the halls all by themselves. Headless lumps were being stacked in corners and on carts for extraction. The entire place was beyond suffocating, creating a painful pressure in her chest that was instantly alleviated when she stepped outside into the fresh air of the world.

 _God I love fresh air. I'll never take it for granted again._

She closed her eyes and inhaled, feeling her chest inflate with the soothing natural air. She turned and gave Lexa a bright, hopeful smile, things were going to get so much better.

 _Our lives are going to get so much better. I hope nothing else comes to bite us in the ass after all of this._

Clarke clenched her fists, spine straightening.

 _I won't let anything get in the way of my happiness. I deserve more than just survival and dammit I will take what I deserve._

* * *

"Clarke!" Bellamy shouted, ecstatic about seeing the beautiful blonde for more then a few minutes after two weeks of meetings and general organization.

"Bellamy!" Clarke laughed, eyes lighting up with joy at seeing her old friend. She welcomes his friendly hug, gripping his shoulders as he spins her in a circle. Giggling, she demands, "Put me down!"

Her co-leader complied, and the two stare at each other for a short moment, smiling. Bellamy swallowed, gathering his courage. He had been desperate to blurt out his feelings the moment Lexa's army had roared in victory at the sight of Cage's dead body, but there hadn't been a good time to come clean. Now was a perfect time, they were alone among the tents farther from the Commander's, and most of the grounders were in a massive meeting about the rebuilding of Ton DC.

Did he use words? Would a kiss work better? Words meant too little nowadays, actions were much better, they meant more to Clarke. A kiss would be good, it would get the message across and then they could be together. Bellamy was already picturing the life they would share.

 _We'll have two kids, a boy and a girl, and we'll live in a house by one of the safer lakes, or maybe the ocean. We could get away from all of this chaos and live out our lives. Then the Commander won't be able to bother us anymore._

Though he would never admit it, he didn't like the tension that had stirred between Clarke and the Commander, and he didn't want to think about how or where it had progressed while he was away.

"It's good to see you Clarke," He said warmly, giving the blonde his best boyish grin. He inched closer, reveling in the girls presence. He hadn't realized just how much he had missed her. It seems that distance really does make the heart grow fonder.

"Bell how've you been?-" Clarke's eyes widened as Bellamy crushed his lips against hers, pulling her close by her hips a little too roughly for Clarke to feel safe. She didn't like this, at all, but she couldn't do anything.

She just… froze.

Lexa froze too.

* * *

 _ **Ta-daaa! The rewrite is in progress folks. It'll take a while, and some chapters might be the same, but its happening! Sorry for the people that wanted me to just update the other story, but I wasn't happy with it. The last few real chapters of that story will remain the same though, with some add ons. My apologies if you're unhappy with this turn of events, but you know what, deal with it.**_

 _ **Cheers!**_

 _ **Reuker**_


	2. A Good Cry

Chapter Two

 _ **Bam! I just changed little bits of it, but this chapter is largely the same as in the original story. The entire point of this rewrite is to prolong the events that I had rushed in the original. Chapters like this will most likely not be rewritten, seeing as they are minor in the grand scheme of the story.**_

* * *

Lexa didn't know what to do, what to say. No, she knew what she wanted to do, she wanted to punch Bellamy in the face. She knew what she wanted to say, too. She wanted to ask Clarke (and she _so wouldn't_ be screaming) why the hell she had told her she wasn't ready for a relationship when she would end up starting one only two or so odd weeks later? She could have said _no,_ and Lexa would have been better, she would have been okay with that. But she _lied,_ and that stung more than anything except the fact that _Bellamy Blake_ was kissing her Clarke.

 _No,_ Lexa thought solemnly, swallowing a lump in her throat. _Not my Clarke, his Clarke. I need to get out of here._

Lexa wouldn't hurt Bellamy. No, she was past hurting people for such trivial things. She would still be a ruthless leader, but she would seek peace. She was tired of fighting in wars, she was tired of cleaning her weapons and herself of blood, she was tired of killing. She didn't enjoy it, she didn't do it as a past time, she did it because she had to fight in wars that everyone deemed necessary. Everything she did because of her duty, because of what she had been born to do, just as Clarke had, though she had always been more reluctant. Every death weighed on her, until she had Clarke help her rationalize them all the same way she had helped Clarke.

 _No more help from Clarke._

No, no more help. She didn't need help from liars.

 _No more helping Clarke._

She had Bellamy now, didn't she? She didn't need Lexa's help any longer.

 _No more Skaikru._

No, no more Skaikru. She would help rebuild Tondc with her bare hands to an even greater level of glory. All of the towns of the Trigedakru would be rebuilt, or added on to. Buildings would be built greater, farms enlarged and connections forged between the Clans. Towns would become cities, trade routes would be solidified and protected, as would the surrounding nature from the Skaikru machinery. Together, they would become one true Clan. The Trigedakru would become more connected and powerful than they had ever been. They would leave the Skaikru behind, and the Coalition would thrive.

No, Lexa was not planning this all to distract herself.

 _Yes, she needed to get out of here to begin the reconstruction._

Lexa swallowed again, the lump bigger and even more painful to swallow before she closed her eyes, hoping to contain her tears. Two squeezed out from behind her tan, paint covered eyelids. She really needed to get out of here, she had to get right on the construction, so she couldn't stay for anything. She turned on her leather-covered heel, and ran, her black long coat flapping behind her. A few more tears leaked down her face as she sprinted away, but she wiped them from her face angrily, another lump forming in her throat.

 _I shed no tears for liars._

No, she would not cry for Clarke Griffin, because she was not one to cry for liars. She shouldn't be crying at all.

 _Damn you, Clarke Griffin. You made me weak._

* * *

The sound of a startled breathe and the hard slap of someone sprinting along the dirt had awoken Clarke's motor skills, and she shoved Bellamy away viciously, shouting "What the hell?!"

Clarke turned, and watch with dread and horror as a figure ran from the area, dressed in a black leather long coat that had been ingrained in her brain. It was Lexa's. Clarke began to panic, her breathe quickening. Lexa had seen the kiss. She obviously thought that Clarke was into Bellamy, seeing as she ran from the scene. She thought Clarke didn't return her feelings. Clarke's heart dropped into her stomach when she realized what the worst part of this all was.

Lexa thought she lied.

To lie was to label oneself unreliable, and in grounder culture, so much of life and relationships was placed on the reliability to protect and provide for your partner and family and vice versa. If you cannot provide truthful words, how could you provide food, shelter, and love? How could you provide protection? Clarke had, in Lexa's eyes, lied. She had destroyed all of the trust Lexa had placed in her, something that, for her to admit, was so difficult that it took threats and several intense stare-offs for Lexa do even mention the _word._

Clarke moved to run after Lexa, confident that she could eventually catch up with her if someone stopped her for a word or two. She was depending on such a thing to occur if she ever had any hope of catching Lexa, she was far more physically fit. But someone always did, so Clarke's legs tensed for a millisecond as she prepared to take off after the Commander. She took her first step, and was surprised to find a hand close around her bicep and stop her. Clarke looked back to see Bellamy, eyes full of questions that Clarke really didn't want to answer.

"What is it? Is someone there?" Bellamy asked, worried. He didn't see Lexa, or hear her, too caught up in Clarke to notice anything _but_ her. His worry was more for the reasoning behind why she pushed him away. He was confident that she like him back, and he would keep trying to get the girl, because this was just like the stories his mom read him and Octavia when they were kids. The guy, the _hero_ always gets the girl. He would get Clarke, wouldn't he?

Clarke swallowed, tears threatening to come forth as she realized how big of a shit-storm Bellamy had just caused. It wasn't entirely his fault, Clarke should have pushed him away _instantly,_ but she forgot how to move, and not in a good way. Sure, Bellamy was handsome, but all of her attraction, all of her _love_ was directed towards Lexa, no matter how many times they kissed or how many times people told her that her and Bellamy would be cute together. Lexa was only possibility for her, and nothing could change that. Bellamy was a nice guy, but Clarke didn't _want_ a nice _Skaikru_ _guy._ She wanted a hard-headed, muscular _Trigedakru Commander._ Bellamy couldn't compete with someone on a different type of playing field.

"Nothing," Clarke responded. When Bellamy tried to step closer again, Clarke slammed a palm against his chest, knocking the wind out of him as she said firmly, "No. Not happening Bellamy."

Bellamy smiled cockily, thinking that Clarke was just playing hard to get. He could play that game too. "Aw c'mon Clarke, you know you-"

"-No, I don't!" Clarke shouted, eyes brimming with tears, "You have destroyed EVERYTHING!" By the end Clarke was screaming, gathering the attention of several Grounders who had returned to their tents after the announcements. They had finished quickly, allowing Lexa to get there in time to see Bellamy kissing her. The one fucking time her mother and Kane don't decide to rant about togetherness bullshit!

The cocky smile was wiped off of Bellamy's face the moment he saw Clarke's tear-infested eyes. "Clarke what did I-" He started, even more worried. What kind of rift would this create? Could they come back from it?

"Don't put your hands me again, Bellamy!" Clarke snapped, tears hanging to her eyelashes, slowly edging down to fall across fair-skinned cheeks. She wiped at her eyes desperately, choking back a frustrated sob. This was all too much, she wasn't prepared to deal with all of these emotions, they overwhelmed her. Clarke didn't spare Bellamy a second glance as she ran from him, a few tears escaping her sapphire blues as her legs pumped faster and faster. She ran towards Lexa's tent, knowing its placement by heart after only a few visits, desperate to immerse herself in those ever-familiar surroundings.

It only took Clarke five minutes of running to reach Lexa's tent, having sprinted there on strong legs. But when she came upon where Lexa's tent usually resided, with guards standing watch as usual with the same stoic, dangerous expression, there was nothing. An empty lot, where the grass had been removed, leaving behind compact, hard dirt. Holes from the posts of the tent could still be seen in the dirt, and it was still fresh. The tent had just been removed minutes ago, if not seconds ago.

Clarke gave a sigh of relief when she caught sight of Octavia, never more grateful that the two had come to an understanding. "Octavia!" Clarke called out desperately, hiccupping suddenly as she continued to fight back tears of frustration.

Octavia ran over, gripping Clarke's biceps as she looked at her worriedly, "What happened?"

Clarke took a deep breathe, and shook her head, "Not here," She choked out, and allowed herself to be lead to Octavia's and Indra's tent. Thankfully, Octavia's first was not present, so the two could talk in complete privacy.

"Okay Clarke," Octavia said gently, guiding Clarke to sit down on her bed beside her. "What happened?"

"B-B-B-" Clarke was a whirlwind of mixed up emotions. "Bellamy-y k-kissed me and L-Lexa saw and s-she r-ran from m-me. Her tent isn't th-there!" Clarke was soon wailing out her words, and Octavia pulled the girl into a hug, not minding the tears that stained her shirt.

"It's gonna be fine Clarke, shh, it's gonna be okay," Octavia ran her fingers through Clarke's hair soothingly, wishing Lincoln was there. Surprisingly enough, he was far better at comforting people than Octavia could ever dream to be. "Why would Lexa-"

"We kissed." Clarke sniffled, pulling away from Octavia to wipe at her face, staining her hands with her tears. She had fucked up _so bad._ "Before the b-battle. For t-twenty mis-s-s-i-ss-ippi's. I told her I wasn't r-ready."

At that point, Clarke wasn't just crying because of Lexa, she was crying because of everything that had happened since she had set foot on the ground. It felt so good to just let it all out. A weight she hadn't known was there was slowly being lifted off her chest, but she suspected that a new weight would be taking residence soon enough. No one on the ground seemed to be able to catch a break, and Clarke didn't feel that she was any different.

Octavia's face morphed into a smile, before taking on a look of sympathy, and pulled Clarke into another hug, "It'll be okay, you just need to talk to- _shit."_

"What?" Clarke asked, wiping her face once more, gathering more tears in her palms.

Octavia sighed, looking guilty of _something._ "Lexa told me to inform Indra that she would be taking off to help rebuild Tondc, then she would go around to the other towns. Some sort of Trigedakru connections plan before she went to Polis. Indra was - if she wanted - supposed to join her in Ton DC. She told me she had big plans, and that me and Lincoln were welcome to join the caravan and find a place to build our homes or a community."

Clarke bit her lip, shaking with the force it took not to break down. Everything was ruined. The Trigedakru possessed some of the strongest and fastest horses in all the lands, aside from the Horse people, who bred them for a living. Lexa could be halfway to Tondc in the ten minutes since she ran. "I need to s-see her."

Octavia shook her head, "Come outside, Clarke, I need to show you something."

Octavia _should_ be grilling Clarke on how she treated her brother, but she was so pissed at Bellamy that she couldn't care about being a good sister. He's an idiot, but he wasn't around when Clarke and Lexa bonded, however that may have been accomplished. He should have been a dork and asked for permission. Now Clarke was a blubbering mess because she thought the person she cared for in such a way had taken off because she was just as emotionally fucked up.

Okay, they were all a little emotionally fucked up, but they were pretty good people.

Octavia pointed at a tree, and Clarke examined it with narrowed eyes. The bark had splinted and their was a nasty looking indent, along with bits of fresh blood.

 _Lexa's blood._ Clarke realized. The Commander had been angry enough, or depressed enough to lash out in anger. Anger was how she channeled all of her other emotions out of her, freeing her mind from their constraints to be the leader she needed to be. Or, she really needed to hit something in favor of someone's face.

Clarke's expression hardened, and the tears stopped. She wiped their remains from her face, clearing the wetness from her palm on her jeans. No use in crying for a runner. No, she would catch that runner and make her listen. Clarke Griffin took _nothing_ lying down. She would make Lexa understand, she just needed to find her. That was where the problem lied. Tondc had stopped smoking a week ago, and the forests were something even the 100 struggled to navigate. Unless Clarke could convince a Grounder to lead her there, she would take several _days_ to reach Tondc instead of several _hours._

Clarke turned to look at Octavia, her expression unwavering. "I need to speak to Indra."

* * *

 ** _Do you guys still want Bellamy to be a total asshole, or just an ignorant asshole?_**

 ** _Oh and to the reviewer on the old story that got pissy coz I made Abby a bitch: I know, but she's a little old fashioned and very disapproving in this story in the beginning. If everyone was all rainbows and unicorn farts then what would go wrong?_**


	3. Hurting Everyone

Chapter Three

 _ **AIYAAAAAAAAAAAAA I think I have carpal tunnel syndrome. My hands ache like hell after I do MMA or I type/write for a while. This shit is intense but I want to get this story going. By like 4AM I think I'll reach chapter ten or twelve.**_

 _ **This chapter was simply touched up, like the previous one. I'll let you know when they're new.**_

* * *

Indra said nothing as she glowered at Clarke, both the blonde artist and her Second having told the entire story, even the kiss that was shared between the Skaikru and her Commander. Indra could feel the rage coursing through her veins, and the vein beneath the tattoo on her forehead pulsed in her irritation. The Skaikru always managed to muck things up with her people, no matter how hard they tried, if they tried at all, to keep things running smoothly. This Sky Girl seemed to be the worst of them all, playing with the Commander like she had.

 _Idiot Sky Girl! Gonplei dis Gunna Skaikru Heda. She is a fool._

Indra inhaled, willing herself to clear her mind. She could not let her opinions of the Skaikru that came down after the original one hundred cloud her opinion of Clarke. The girl was not like her mother in the ways that mattered the most, and Indra tried hard to remember that.

 _No, she is not to blame, the Bellamy boy is. Heda should have let me kill them._

Indra looked at Clarke. The girl, the _leader_ looked so alone and lost, her eyes red and puffy. She was a strong girl, the strongest of the _Skaikru,_ maybe even more than her Second. She would be a fine leader of the Trigedakru. Heda and her leading together? They would be unstoppable. Clarke Griffin had already earned the respect of the Trigedakru, so it would be an easy transition from allies to lovers. They would need to tread lightly, and show nothing but blank faces in public, but Indra knew the Commander would do everything to make it work.

 _No, I am glad she did not, otherwise she would not have found love._

Indra had no doubt in her mind that Heda loved _Klok kom Skaikru._ Octavia had often spoken of Heda as 'Commander Heart Eyes', yet she had never explained the term to her, always blushing and looking away, muttering things like, "It's a Skaikru thing." But even with this apparent love, Indra wasn't so sure Clarke jumping into this love affair was such a smart idea. The girl was broken, and Heda was too. They needed to help fix each other separately before they became one.

She could bring all of this up with the blonde girl, but in that moment, Indra didn't have the heart to go up against the girl in such a way.

So now, she would ask, "So, does that have something to do with the term 'Commander Heart Eyes'? Octavia?"

Octavia gulped, noticing how Clarke's gaze snapped towards her instantly, questions swirling in her eyes amongst tears she held back with sheer force of will and her determination to reach Lexa. Might as well be honest about everything.

"Well, some of use who've been around you and Lexa for a while have noticed that she looks at you in this... particular way, like you're the most beautiful thing in the world. She's so head over heels for you, and it shows in the way she looks at you, so me, Lincoln and Raven call her 'Commander Heart Eyes', though Raven usually refers to her as 'Comm'."

Clarke felt a spark of possessiveness start a fire in the tinder within her heart. Since when did Raven and Lexa hang out? Since when did Raven give out nicknames? Clarke wasn't so sure she was happy that Lexa was integrating with good-looking population of Skaikru girls. But the feelings of possessiveness faded when she remember just how _loyal_ Lexa had been to her, and how _disloyal_ she had been to Lexa. Who the hell was she to get possessive over someone she wasn't with? They hadn't had any real commitments right? She hadn't initiated the kiss...

Then why the hell did she feel so bad?

"I see the conflict within your eyes, child. No, this is not truly your fault, but you feel terrible and you wish not to, because you have already shifted any possible blame onto the Bellamy boy. But you feel terrible because you _know_ my Heda. You felt what you felt and you feel as though you may never feel it again, and the thought of knowing for the rest of your life that you could have caused such a loss is eating at you. Not to mention you know that Heda thinks you do not love her." Indra spoke factually, but the undertones of compassion and understanding made Clarke see the woman in a whole new light. Indra truly cared for her Heda, she cared for _Lexa._

"But I _do_ love her!" Clarke cried, frustrated. "I would _never-"_

"Lexa knows none of this! She merely knows that you have put her off, and now she thinks she knows that you have put her off for eternity!" Indra interjected, gripping Clarke's biceps as Octavia had done before, but the pressure was increased. She needed Clarke to realize that Lexa would not hear any of these confessions, she needed to say these things to Lexa's face while she was still remotely calm in her 'running away mode'. It was better than a furious, irrational Lexa that wanted to murder Bellamy with her bare hands. "You must tell her that only for the time being will you two be apart in such a way, and in the future, you will be ready."

Clarke's jaw shut with an audible click and she nodded in understanding. "Will you help me find her?"

Indra nodded firmly, "We will meet the Commander in Ton DC in three days. She will be leaving in two weeks on a trip to Polis, and that is not a place I will lead you to. But first, you must sort out your issues with Bellamy Blake, and if I am not mistaken, his heavy feet are stomping at the dirt in front of my tent as he paces."

Clarke froze at Indra's news, eyes wide with fear. She had just been forcibly kissed by her friend not thirty minutes ago, she wasn't ready to face him now and tell him that she could never be with him the way he wanted. She didn't want to break his heart, but she cared more for Lexa's heart and its state than she did Bellamy's. He wouldn't be _fine,_ but he would have _closure_. Lexa had none, she only had heartbreak and, at this point, anger. Anger at Clarke, at Bellamy, at her horse Darjmere, at Clarke's horse Hawal, at _everyone._ Knowing Lexa, this was probably the case. But the girl had come up with a grand plan to rebuild the Trigedakru Clan up from the literal ashes into a Clan several times more powerful and productive. They would grow and become _more._ Maybe after a few days she would cool off a bit? Calm down, be a bit more reasonable?

Indra seemingly read Clarke's mind, "It will take a day to reach Ton DC if we take appropriate breaks, and today is almost done, you have today to speak to Bellamy so we can leave tomorrow, or speak to him tomorrow and we leave the day after."

Clarke nodded, smiling a small, grateful smile, "Thank you, Indra."

"Thank me after you win over my Heda."

Clarke shook her head, smiling as Octavia snorted, telling her First, "I suggest you take her thanks, Indra, Clarke is a very thankful person when it comes to guidance in the rough water of the Heda."

Indra rolled her eyes, thumping her Second on the forehead, causing her to yelp and making Clarke laugh.

Her laughter ceased a few moments later, when Octavia was still rubbing a small pink spot on her forehead from where her First had thumped her. Indra turned to her, and said simply, "He is still there. It is time for you to be brave in the face of what Heda considers the greatest weakness. Love. Unrequited makes it all the worse."

 _Not helping Indra!_

Clarke nodded, "I'll talk to him," Clarke then added, for Octavia's sake, "I'll be gentle about it."

"Don't be," Octavia said gruffly, "He forced himself onto you, at least Lexa was all gentle and sensual."

Clarke blushed, shaking her head. "Alright then."

With that, Clarke marched from Indra and Octavia's shared tent, chin held high as she moved to break unfortunate news to one of her greatest friends.

* * *

Clarke did not want to do this. At all. In a million years maybe. Maybe a couple million? She felt so _awkward_ even _thinking_ about speaking to Bellamy about his feelings and her lack of them. Clarke knew, however, that she was _not_ in the wrong here, and neither was Bellamy. He couldn't hold her lack of feelings against her for any reason, and she couldn't hold his abundance of feelings against him either. Though, Clarke could hold his lack of timing against him if she felt like it. No, Clarke wouldn't be mad at Bellamy, he had done no wrong... yet.

 _If he does, Lexa can never know or she'll kill him._

Bellamy wasn't stupid, so Clarke didn't expect him to do something _that_ bad. He was a good friend, and Clarke trusted him with her life, so what was there to be worried about? This would go off without much of a hitch and soon they could all get over this mess. If it wasn't that easy, Clarke would find another way.

When she left the tent, Bellamy stopped pacing, his shoulders slouching as he sighed in relief, "Clarke, I was so worried. I'm sorry if me kissing you freaked you out. This isn't how I planned our relationship starting-"

"-Bellamy," Clarke interjected, nervous about his reaction, "Our 'relationship' won't ever be _starting._ I can't- I don't feel that way about you Bellamy."

Bellamy's face fell like an Angel from Grace, his jaw clenching viciously before his entire expression twisted into one of petty rage. "It's _Lexa_ isn't it," Bellamy spat Lexa's name as though it were poison, "I saw you two staring into each others eyes. You were too busy looking at her to realize that your friend, who _risked his life for you_ wanted to say hi after not seeing you in _months."_

Clarke's brow furrowed as she lashed out, eager to dispose some of her pent up emotions. "Don't try and make this _all about you_ Bellamy! This is about what you seem to think there is between us! There is _nothing_ and I'm sorry if I can't love you the way I love her!"

Bellamy looked as though he were a puppy that Clarke had kicked, before he darkened, face akin to a storm cloud before he spoke again, voice thick with an emotion that Clarke couldn't place. "Can we take this somewhere private? We're drawing an audience."

Clarke looked around, and noticed that many Grounders, soldiers that spoke English, stopped and watched the two, brows furrowed or raised in thought and question. Clarke definitely didn't need _them_ knowing about her lack of feelings for Bellamy. That was knowledge she needed _Lexa_ to know, and maybe then they could all move on. Though, judging from the look on Bellamy's face, it would take a long while for him to move past this. Clarke sighed, nodding. She had lost too many friends to death and disease to lose yet another to something as trivial as a _crush._

But, as Clarke walked behind Bellamy towards a small cluster of young saplings, she realized one very important thing.

She didn't know if what Bellamy felt was just a crush. Did he love her?

 _Oh God, I'm just hurting everyone._

* * *

 ** _Yeah Clarke like what the fuck?! Poor Lexa, that dork doesn't deserve this, or what happens to her in Polis *wince*_**


	4. Something's Watching Me

Chapter Four

 ** _I would have written some more chapters, but I got distracted watching the Lost in Space movie, then the TV show. It's such a cool concept. How does Lexarke in space sound guys? I can make it a side project while I finish up this story later. Could you imagine? Just traversing the universe in a ship decked out with everything you need, exploring untouched worlds... I get so giddy thinking about it xD_**

 ** _Here's another chap loves, she's just a touch up with a decent sized add on at the bottom. I'll try and aim for longer chapters later._**

* * *

Clarke felt nothing but the rolling muscles of Hawal beneath her as they rode. She felt wisps of her mares black mane brush against her cheek as she stood in her stirrups, urging her loyal companion forward. She heard nothing but the thundering of three sets of hooves as she rode with Octavia and Indra. She could not let herself feel or hear anything but these two things, otherwise she would suffer a breakdown. She forced herself to focus on Hawal, and her mind immersed itself in the joy of the fast gallop she had taken on. Clarke, for the first time since she first set foot on the ground, felt free. She had never allowed herself to truly enjoy a hard, fast riding trip with Hawal, let alone a pleasurable stroll. Now, she enjoyed the wild adrenaline, one that didn't stem from battle. Her mind could go blank, and that was something she had never had the liberty of truly enjoying.

But memories of yesterday slipped through the cracks in her armor. They slipped through in the slivers of doubt and fear that caused erosion in the stable rock of happiness that Clarke had been able to find within the vast ocean of emotions within her mind. The waters of emotions rose, enveloping her little stable rock, drowning it in unpleasant memories carried in uncomfortably cold water.

 _'"Bellamy, look I'm sorry-" Clarke started, truly sorry for her friend. She thought that after the war she would be able to stop hurting people, but it seemed that this wouldn't be the case. She always seemed to be caught between a rock and a hard place, and the only way out was through pain._

 _"-No, Clarke." Bellamy interjected, honest tears misting over usually unwavering, calm eyes. "I don't know how you can reject me yet give me so many signals-"_

 _"-What signals?" Clarke asked, getting defensive. There was a time where she had considered being with Bellamy, but after she spent more time with Lexa, those considerations flew out the window. Even before Lexa, Clarke felt like she just needed to feel **something,** so she had thought, 'Why not Bellamy'. But it had been a farce, a creation formed within her mind in her attempt to prove to herself that she was still human after everything she had done. Now, she had Lexa to prove that to her, and it was for real._

 _"Telling me that you couldn't lose me! That's a pretty big signal to give Clarke!" Bellamy half-shouted, jabbing a finger at the girl he loved, "And you kept giving me hugs! And you didn't want me to leave! You wanted me to stay with you! You wanted me to stay **for** you!"_

 _Clarke sighed, shaking her head. "It's not like that Bellamy!" Clarke said, slapping Bellamy's hand away, unable to stand him pointing his finger at her in such an accusatory manner. "You're my friend, Bellamy, and I do care about you, but not like that. Maybe before this whole mess, before I met Lexa, maybe we could have been together. But even then, you're to me what you are to Octavia, a really good big brother."_

 _Bellamy swallowed, rubbing at his jaw as he glared at the floor, shifting his weight from foot to foot for a moment. This wasn't how things were supposed to go. The guy, the hero, he was supposed to get the girl! He had though that after he had gotten back, that he and Clarke could finally be together. That was what had kept him going other than Octavia. He wanted her so badly, and now he had to let her go? What kind of shit was that?_

 _"Bellamy," Clarke said softly, desperately, almost. She need to know how he felt now, not from the look on his, but voiced from his mind._

 _"You were the reason I made it through Mount Weather, and now you expect me to let you go so that you can run off with the Commander?" Bellamy seethed, his mind clouded in denial and pain. He could be so much better for Clarke, couldn't she see that? "She's gonna **hurt** you Clarke, can't you see that?"_

 _"You can hurt me too. Anyone can hurt anyone. It's taking that risk of getting hurt that makes the love so much more rewarding, makes it worth the risk." Clarke's own words shocked her. When did she say things like that? When Clarke realized the time, a small smile ghosted across her lips. She had begun to speak like that w_ _hen she started spending time with Lexa. She needed words of her own wisdom to counteract the ones Lexa preached that she didn't agree with. Turns out, she had become a master at it._

 _"You know she thinks that love is a weakness, right?" Bellamy snapped, willing to play such a card in his moment of desperation. Clarke had to see the light._

 _Clarke shook her head, smiling fondly at a thin black snake slithering between the leaves as she remembered the kiss she had shared with Lexa. It curled around her ankle as she spoke, "From the way she kissed me, I know that she's weak for me, Bellamy."_

 _Bellamy's jaw clenched, his nostrils flaring as he fought tears of anger and desperation. Things weren't supposed to work like this! "What kind of future would you even have with her huh?"_

 _Clarke's own jaw clenched, Bellamy was being an asshole. "What kind of future would I even have with you?!" She snapped, tears of frustration brimming in her own eyes. She had kept so many tears in throughout her time on the ground, and the moment she let herself go, they all came back to the surface. She owed the Earth the tears she had yet to shed._

 _"We have a home, Clarke! Or we could get some guys together and build a new one! There are enough metal scraps to build a tough one that'll last us. Raven could hook us up with a little old fashioned projector and we could watch movies and have-" Bellamy ranted, eager to share with Clarke the dreams he had for the both of them._

 _"-But that's the thing, Bellamy," Clarke interjected, confidence returning. She knew what she wanted, and she would let it be known. "What if I don't want to live in some metal husk? What if I don't want to just sit at home and watch movies on a projector? What I want to **travel,** what if I want to go see the ocean? What if I want to learn how to shoot a bow and wield a sword? What if I want someone to build a house with me out of trees we cut down from the land we call home? Manage a farm with the people beside us. What if I don't want you, and I want Lexa? What, are you going to become her?!"_

 _Bellamy's jaw opened ever so slightly to click shut._

 _Clarke nodded, knowing she had made her point. "Exactly, Bellamy. I love you like a brother, and I can't love you any other way."_

 _"But I could give you-"_

 _"-You can't give me everything Lexa can. You can't give me **Lexa.** "_

 _"I could be Commander!"_

 _"That has nothing to do with it!"_

 _"Oh please, I know you just like the power!"  
_

 _Clarke gasped, she couldn't believe the audacity of her long time friend. But she knew he was angry, and he was lashing out. However, she couldn't let it stand, "That has never been a factor, in fact, I would prefer that Lexa not be the Commander, because then we could run away to the ocean, build a house by the shore and live out our lives **happy.** "_

 _"You sure you would survive?" Bellamy asked angrily, his eyes searching Clarke's face as he waited for a response._

 _Clarke sighed once more, remembering what she had told Lexa before. "Life should be about more than just surviving. Don't we deserve that?"_

 _"We do," Bellamy replied, voice thick, "And I know I can give you more than just survival. Just give me a chance!"_

 _"There is no chance to give Bellamy!" Clarke cried, frustrated. "I can't give you a chance when I've got everything invested in someone else! Because that's how far things have gone. I want **her** , I love **her.** I don't want you, nor do I love you the way I love her, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm not sorry that I don't love you that way. I will **not** apologize for my lack of feelings."_

 _Bellamy swallowed a lump in his throat, before his anger overcame his self pity. He spat out the last sentence he ever planned on saying to Clarke. "Go on and enjoy your savage girlfriend, Princess."_

 _With that, Bellamy stormed away, and Clarke didn't bother calling his name.'_

Clarke refused to shed any more tears. She had given enough of them. She would stand unwavering in her decision, and she prided herself in her tenacity. She wanted Lexa, not Bellamy, and she would not be sorry about her decision, because after all of the bullshit she had been drowning in, she wanted to just hang on to her lifesaver and be brought to safety. Lexa was her lifesaver, and Lexa was her safety, and that was all Clarke had to go on for their future.

The artist smiled, picturing herself forcing Lexa to go on vacation. They could go to the ocean, visit the Boat Clan? Clarke would definitely love to see Lexa in a bathing suit... Clarke blushed, she needed to put those particular thoughts on hold until she had actually _gotten_ Lexa. But another vision appeared within Clarke's mind.

 _Lexa leant against a gnarled oak tree, it's roots buried half in the dirt and half in the sand of the beach. She had placed a thick, soft cloth blanket over a flat area of roots and sand. Her body was mostly bare, covered only in a dark green bathing suit top scavenged months before and dark brown cotton shorts that rode high on deeply tanned thighs. Clarke walked over to her, soft cloth brushing against her knees, the thin robe she wore over her bathing suit tickling her skin. Lexa opened her legs, and Clarke leant against her front, feeling the warmth of her beloved against her still cold back. Lexa pressed a kiss to Clarke's hairline, murmuring sweet nothings as they looked out at the hazy blue sea that stretched out in front of them._

When the vision ended, Clarke shook her head, clearing her thoughts of beaches, blankets and cold water. She needed to explain everything clearly first, otherwise she could lose Lexa before such a vision could even be fathomed in the realm of reality. Clarke's stomach clenched painfully at the thought, she didn't know how she could deal with losing Lexa on top of everything else.

Clarke spurred Hawal to go faster, patting her tan neck affectionately as a look of determination sparked in her eyes. She was a stubborn girl, no, _woman,_ and she knew one thing was for sure: She wouldn't need to deal with losing Lexa. She would get her back, come hell or high water.

Clarke had already experienced hell, and she knew how to swim.

* * *

Riding for long periods of time became painful for Clarke, particularly her ass. She still hadn't gotten used to riding for more then an hour at best, any more and she had to clench her jaw to keep from whining and demanding they stop. She inhaled deeply, slowing Hawal to a trot as the threesome began to ride across a wide field of crisp grass. The sun was shining bright that early morning, beating down on the three ladies as they rode. None of them dared remove their padded jackets despite the early morning heat, not when the land they were traveling through was full of dangerously mutated creatures and traitorous members of the Coalition that despised any and all Skaikru. Their jackets meant the difference between an arrow through the heart and an arrow scratch on their chest above their heart.

Clarke was uncomfortable, not just because of the riding, but because she had the unsettling sensation of being watched.

It was a particularly startling sensation that often prickled at the back of her neck, setting her nerves on end. She had felt it so much among the people of the Skaikru and Trigedakru that she had become familiar with the worrying sensation. But the closer she had to gotten to Lexa, the more the people averted gazes, fearing the wrath of the Commander. Even after all this time, she still was able to isolate the sensation and recognize it for what it was.

Someone, or dare she say something, was watching them, or even more particularly, her.

Indra made a series of clicking noises, launching her stocky brown mare into a loping, graceful canter. Clarke's horse followed suit, while Octavia stopped and peered into the forest. She could've sworn she had seen a tail of some sort, flicking and slapping the low-hanging leaves in that tree just beyond the clearing. Seeing nothing, Octavia shrugged, urging her own red roan mare into a speedy gallop as she caught up with Indra and Clarke.

Behind the tree line, a beast rumbled, eyes flashing bright with a predatory gleam before ducking out of sight into the dark shadows of the dense forest.

* * *

 _ **Ta-da! No more updates today, but maybe the first post for Lexarke in space!**_

 _ **Oh and a curious question of mine: Have any of you thought of loading up your pet(s) (WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE THEM), some personal belongings and your clothes and just, up and leaving? Be it by car or bike or walking even. Even the shortest description of that particular feeling would be excellent I'm writing a piece about it and it would help me greatly. PM's or reviews folks ;P**_


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